A better teacher

You learn more from other's examples than by their words. When you watch another's actions that has much greater impact than the words that come out of their mouth. I want you to be happy, healthy, and whole. For is to have super shiny souls we need rest.
The last year of my life has left me dried up, tired, and messy. Like my mom explained to me yesterday "this is like sucking syrup through a straw." A long, arduous process. So, for my own clarity and sanity I am taking a one week sabbatical. I do not know where I am going, I just know I need to go and rest.

Light and Shaddow

Light and Shaddow by heatherswint featuring feather hair accessories

Scoop neck tee
$19 - asos.com

Wolford nylon pantyhose
$30 - journelle.com

Christian Louboutin strappy high heels
$439 - mytheresa.com

Alexander McQueen skull scarve
£325 - liberty.co.uk

With Love From CA feather hair accessory
$6.50 - pacsun.com

Rosie Fox flower hair accessory
£6.99 - mylabel.co.uk

Let the Sun Shine Wall Art - 20x24 - Red Multi - One Size
$59 - urbanoutfitters.com

1STDIBS.COM - FS Henemader Antiques Inc. - Pair of Custom Wrought Iron...
1stdibs.com

Fluffy

Recently I got a lot of pictures from my mom. Most of them were older, when Hailey and I were kids. Looking through these pics, I found one and I said - out loud, mind you - "hey, in this one I don't look like a fat girl" I am 8 years old in the picture. I have always told myself, and others, that I have always struggled with my weight. Looking at these pictures of me as a kid, I came to the profound realization that I have not always struggled with my weight, I have always struggled with my body image. I have also struggled to have a healthy relationship with food.
Comfort.
Food.
If you go to the doctor, you get a milkshake.
If you did not do well in a pageant, eat salad.
I was called "fluffy" by a dance teacher around 9 years old.
I can blame my parents, dance teachers, the media, blah blah blah... for the size of my butt, but I am now 36 years old and I need to take a realistic, healthy look in the mirror - and not just at my "thunder thighs."
My weight since I have been an adult has fluctuated over 60 pounds, up and down, up and down. At my most emotionally uncontrollable, I was either at my lowest weight or my highest.
I have realized that my weight, a number on a scale, has more to do with my mindset than a diet.
I am at a higher number on the scale now and it is driving me nuts, but, am I at an insane juncture in my life? Yup. Am I eating healthy food? Yup. More green smoothies than french fries? Yup.
So, what's a girl to do? Lie around all day eating berries, drinking water and foregoing stress for an opulent life... c'est la vie?
Hardly! I don't think that is in the cards. I don't want that to be in the cards. I have shit to do! Places to go, people to see and a family to tend to.
So - the balance between your emotional state and food???....???...
Is this just the way life is? Sad = too fat or too skinny, happy = healthy weight or happy and fat??? I will let you know how it goes.
Love, honesty and eat a friggin' cookie if you want to,
Heather