Who am I?

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Jefferson, Georgia, United States
Hello everybody, I am Heather. I love yoga, food and loud rock shows. I am here to lead you on a lifestyle that will have your soul shining! P.S. Cancer Sucks!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Soul Food

It has almost been one full month since my sister's cross over and I am feeling drained. There have been many changes in the last few months of my life and lots more in the last few weeks. I know I need more energy and I want my zip back. I know that depression, tears and bad days are normal and I welcome all of them. I want to move through this with dignity, strength and clarity.  Clarity of the mind, body and spirit. A clear head can not come with spirits, dairy, fat and sugar clogging my veins. I have enjoyed comfort food of mac and cheese, pasta and fried everything for long enough and I feel the need to gain clarity (not to mention energy).  My brain fog is thick and my sleep is sketchy at best. I do not want to continue like this.

Almost every morning I wake up and one of my first thoughts is "The Daniel Fast." I ignored it, and I don't know why the thought is there. I have only heard of this fast in passing and have never fasted before in my life. The closest I have come to fasting for spiritual reasons is giving up brownies for lent. Last week I brought up the Daniel fast on facebook and in yoga class. It just so happens, that most of my students have fasted for spiritual and mental clarity. Another happy "coincidence" was that one of my newest students had a book on the Daniel fast in her car.
OK God, I hear you. I submit.
Tomorrow, I am starting a modified version of The Daniel Fast which is based on the Biblical scripture Daniel 10:2-3: "In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three while weeks were fulfilled."

I have not completely heard from God the exact details of my fast. I will spend time in prayer and meditation tonight and see if I can gain more clarity on this. This meditation will be post yoga and pre -sleep.

This much I know:
Vegan - no meat, no dairy, no animals
No alcohol
No sweets
No pre-packaged food

God has the vision for my life, I need to plug in and connect. This may mean that I unplug my toys too - TV, computer and iPhone for specific periods of time during the day. I am not sure how long this fast will last - I am still waiting to hear what God has planned for me.  It may be for the full 21 days, it may not.

Ahimsa in Sanskrit means non-violence, peace. I think factory farming is violent to animals and our planet. When I see "Mechanically Pulled Apart Chicken" on Colleen's chicken nuggets - I cringe. Yikes. What a way to die. If you don't think this is nasty, watch the documentary Food Inc. and tell me what you think after you watch it.  *By the way, that brand of chicken nuggets do not cross our threshold now.

Ahimsa toward myself is not allowed. No violence in my body. To torture my liver, gall bladder and intestines with toxins is a form of self deprecation.  I will not belittle my body with toxins. I will not be foggy because my veins are clogged with unnatural food. I have said for years that "this is not what God intended us to eat" now its time to walk the walk with a spiritual cleanse. I have cleansed before, but never for spiritual reasons. All my other cleanses have been for me, my flesh, my ideas. This is God's plan for me. I am listening.

My intention is clear, I need more clarity, peace and sleep.  I need to be closer to God and my family needs me to be at my best. I want to feel better. God wants me to feel good, He loves me, and He is showing me the way.

Monday, June 6, 2011

I will see you in your dreams...

She's got wings, she's got wings...
 Hailey always told Colleen that she would see her in her dreams. I asked Colleen if she has had any dreams about her mama. "Yes." This is what she is dreaming every night...
Mama and Colleen are flying on winged unicorns in a shiny turquoise sky. Mama has on a pretty purple dress and has lots of curly black hair.She looks beautiful. Colleen is laughing and flying on her unicorn, which is also purple. Mama's unicorn is green. The music is beautiful and "Airplane" is playing. Mama tells Colleen that she loves her, and Colleen tells her that she loves her too.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I don't believe in coincidences

My sister passed at 5:05 PM, this song was played at her funeral at her request. She made this request in February.

China Doll ~ by the Grateful Dead

A pistol shot, at five oclock, the bells of heaven ring,
Tell me what you done it for, no I wont tell you a thing.
Yesterday I begged you before I hit the ground,
All I leave behind me is only what I found.

If you can abide it, let the hurdy-gurdy play,
Stranger ones have come by here before they flew away.
I will not condemn you nor yet would I deny,
I would ask the same of you, but failing, will not die.

Take up your china doll, take up your china doll,
Its only fractured and just a little nervous from the fall.